Thud, or, “Duh!” (Castle spoilers)

Most forms of fiction depend on leading the reader or viewer somewhere they can’t see from where they are. Sometimes the part you can’t see is a well-crafted detail along a predictable path, such as a great punch-line well delivered, but mostly it depends on genuine suspense about who dun it or how a cliffhanger will resolve itself.

On those grounds, the season premiere of the 2013-14 Castle season was a disaster.

The Twitter-hype was, “Will she say yes?” That was resolved in about two minutes. Then we got on with a character moving to Ottawa — but the old sidekicks in Toronto staying active in the episode. Oh, new characters in Ottawa, played by familiar actors! They’d be great additions! Except that before the episode is half over, Stana Katic is saying on Twitter than Lisa Edelson just landed a new cable TV show. So, one of the new characters in Ottawa is clearly not a new cast member, but the old cast members in Toronto are still in the cast. Oooh! Cliffhanger! Castle just got poisoned! Will he live?

 

I’d love for them to kill off the title character and have Beckett/Nikki Heat start over in Ottawa, just to avoid the glaringly predictable plot points:

  • Castle lives.
  • Beckett and Castle move back to Toronto and live happily ever again with her back to being a police detective and him being a Mary Sue sidekick.
  • The Scooby Gang remains the Scooby Gang.

Yes, I overanalyzed Castle‘s whole season before the first hour of the season was over.

What’s that, you say? I confused New York/Washington with Toronto/Ottawa? If your two lead actors are Canadian, then they’re clearly in Canadian cities, no matter how much they resemble New York and Washington.

PS — I leave it to the reader to figure out how to view the white-on-white text. I don’t want to be accused of spoiling the episode for those who DVR it.

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